Bite Me
by CazzaCat
Summary: Yuri's favourite comeback line is used against him! Please Read and Review


**Bite Me**

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__AN: I don't own Shadow Hearts at all, though Kurando would be lovely… Oh come on its only one character! It's not like he's in the next game! sniffle Well this is a one shot fic about Yuri's favorite comeback line… Hope its funny:-)_

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'Bite Me!' He yelled stalking off into the woods away from his companions who were laughing at his expense.

Anastasia scrunched her face up in disgust, 'He is so rude!' She stood up and placed her hands on her hips. 'We should make him see that manners go a long way.'

Kurando smiled. 'What do you have in mind Lady Anastasia?'

She paced for a moment in front of all of her companions and flicked absentmindedly at the small autumn kimono's loose tassels. She paced thinking to herself around the fire. 'I got it!'

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Blanca

It was early morning and he was sniffing around the coals of the burnt out fire. Hoping to find any scraps of the delicious meal that Kurando had cooked earlier that night. Yuri stepped into the campsite again and stepped around the white wolf. 'Stupid dog.'

'Awroo grrrrrrrr! (who you calling stupid? Stupid!)' He answered back.

The harmonixer looked at the wolf. 'Was that a challenge, wittle puppy dog!' he taunted.

Blanca growled and pounced down into his slightly playful battle crouch, a mischievous look in his amber eyes.

'Come and get me you stupid dog!' He taunted launching himself only to find himself face first in the mud and a white wolf standing triumphantly on his back. 'Awww! Bite me!'

A few moments later an ear shattering scream pierced the morning waking all of the campers up. Blanca paraded around as if he had just been given the biggest juiciest bone ever.

'… Stupid dog.'

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Karin

Yuri nursed his poor swollen arm where Blanca had bitten him. He cursed all through the morning about how he was a stupid dog and that he deserved to be skinned and hung out for their next meal. Karin who usually took care of him was busy tending to the princess, making sure that her hair was pretty as a picture. Kurando stood by ever watchful of the young girl. Karin looked around slightly troubled. 'Anastasia I can't find your ribbons.'

'Here.' Kurando offered handing over two long silky crimson ribbons. 'I hope they will suffice until yours are found.'

'Thanks.' Anastasia said as Karin fixed her hair and smiled as the large ribbons shone gently in the gentle light of the morning.

Yuri spat. 'I'm injured and you're fixing her hair.'

'Oh behave Yuri.' Karin said tending to his arm afterwards. 'It's just a scratch! You're such a wimp.'

'Bite me.' He answered, crying out as she bit his left hand.

'Owww…'

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Geppetto

The old man held the flask to his lips and contemplated the mixture of tastes that slipped down his throat. His beloved puppet Cornelia sat by his side limp and lifeless. Yuri moaned in the corner, crying out that he'd been bitten and that he deserved better. The old man ignored him and continued to swig from his flask.

'Hey old fart! I'm talking to you.' Yuri whined.

'What?' Geppetto asked annoyed at being interrupted from the sweet taste of grog. 'Couldn't hear you, too old you know.'

'Awww! You are so nasty gimme a taste.' The harmonixer whined even louder shuffling over to the old man. 'Oh come on, just a little. I'm injured show me some pity.'

'Wimp!' The old man cried out. 'You got bit by a girl and a dog and you're injured. Chicken.'

'Oh bite me!' Yuri huffed only to scream again. Both Geppetto and Cornelia latched onto both of his legs. 'Not again!'

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Lucia

She hummed to herself as she played with her fan. Yuri was annoying her with all that whining and she didn't even what to know what he was whining about. Anastasia's plan was brilliant and so far the stupid dummy hadn't even figured it out. She thought to herself, 'And they think I'm slow.'

He glanced at her and smiled to himself. 'Lucia? You'll be nice to me wont you?'

'I dunno.' She answered swinging her fan in an upwards motion attempting to learn a new mixture. 'Depends.'

'On?' He asked waiting for an answer.

'On whether or not you let me go back and get some more petals from the real Adriatic Magnolia.' She answered in her sweet little voice.

'What? You gotta be kidding!' He cried out. 'Ahhh Bite me!'

With out hesitation the dancer spun around and bit him on the right side of his neck.

'What you too? No fair!'

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Joachim

He looked at the fallen log. 'Hmm nice tree.'

'Don't you dare.' Yuri said. 'That is a tree okay! It's a freaking oak!'

'It would make a lovely bludgeon…' He answered picking it up and swinging it around a few times before dropping it. 'No it's too light.'

'Too light?' Kurando asked watching the wrestler and his cousin argue over the dying tree. 'Wouldn't it rot quickly, it is wet wood.'

'No the real wet wood around here is Yuri.' Joachim answered. 'The tree is fine.'

'Bite me.' Was Yuri's answer and the vampire bit the left side of his neck…

'Ahhh! I'm gonna change into a vampire!' Yuri shrieked. 'Stupid idiotic leather wearing freak!'

'Relax.' Joachim answered. 'I didn't have my fangs out.'

Yuri rested on the ground and panted. 'If I turn into a vampire you are getting soooo wasted!'

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Kurando and Anastasia

The princess sighed as she stared up at the mountains, her ever faithful samurai standing behind her.

'What is it Anastasia?' He asked wondering what could make her sigh.

Again she sighed. 'This place is so beautiful. I never want to leave here.'

He smiled and sat beside her. 'I love this forest too. It's so peaceful.' The chatted quietly amongst one another and little be known to them Yuri and Joachim were spying on the young couple.

Kurando smiled and leaned back to look up at the sky. 'So Anastasia, what is Russia like?'

'Oooh!' Yuri said a little too loud. 'This is getting juicy…' Suddenly he sneezed as Blanca's tail accidentally flicked up and brushed his nose. Kurando and Anastasia were up in an instant to see the Harmonixer on the ground laughing. 'You guys are so corny! Why don't you just tell each other how you feel?'

'Why don't you mind your own business?' Anastasia asked with her hands on her hips.

'Bite me!' He yelled back. Both the samurai and the princess leapt at him and bit either ear. Blanca took the liberty of taking another chunk out of him and trotting away. They left him there to contemplate what he had done wrong.

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Campfire

Yuri sat quietly on the grass and watched all of his companions warily. He didn't dare open his mouth for the fear of being bitten… After all, they had all taken a chunk out of him. He swore never again would he tell them to bite him.

'You're such a wimp.' Karin said laughing.

'Slow too.' Lucia said.

'Whatever.' Yuri answered. 'Why don't you all just…' He caught himself before he could say any thing and finished. 'Shaddup.'

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**Well there you have it, my attempt at a humorous fic! If you liked it please review? Tell me what you think. I realize it was short, but I hope it at least makes you laugh…**

**Signed,**

**The Cat**


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